Two monks invent elevators at the University of Toronto

[dr_whom]

With apologies to Mallory Ortberg.


MONK #1: what's between 1 and 3
MONK #2: g
MONK #1: no i mean like when you're counting
what's the number between 1 and 3
MONK #2: no i know
it's g
MONK #1: oh ok
thanks


MONK #1: what about between 4 and 12 though
MONK #2: trick question
there aren't any numbers between 4 and 12


MONK #1: where do elevators live
like when they're off duty
MONK #2: in a cabin


MONK #1: i have a riddle for you
ok ready
up is to 3 as down is to what
MONK #2: fire helmet
MONK #1: how did you know


MONK #1: ok
i've got a concept for this one
SQUARE NUMBERS
MONK #2: ok
MONK #1: so
could you name some square numbers for me
MONK #2: uh
one
four
nine
MONK #1: negative thirteen?
MONK #2: sure whatever


MONK #1: hey what directions do elevators go
MONK #2: oh man
tough one
MONK #1: I KNOW
MONK #2: they definitely go down
MONK #1: ok
what about when they're not going down, what direction do they go
MONK #2: i'm not sure
down might be it
MONK #1: it's ok
i'll leave space
in case we think of it later


MONK #1: hey
MONK #2: what
MONK #1: no never mind
i got this one



Plus, a bonus elevator not from the University of Toronto:

MONK #1: what is fire
MONK #2: come on
you know what fire is
MONK #1: ok but like
give me a hint
is it animal vegetable or mineral
MONK #2: vegetable
it's a species of artichoke